Follow the Yellow Note Road
by Angela and MiniMix
Summary: Mellos and Matts and Good Fairy Lights, oh my! -Sequel to Utter Nonsense. Enjoy the insanity!-
1. Take One: Shoes, plox!

**Angela: **And we're on yet another whirlwind adventure, this time to Oz! This is a _sequel_ to Utter Nonsense, but you don't actually have to read that one to understand this one at all, thankfully. Also, we've added a fifth author to our arsenal of talent, so everyone say hello to Hikari. She's also our beta, so she does double the work. That's why we love her. x3

**ComputerFreak101: **Hi everybody, we're back~! Hope you enjoy Oz as much as you did Wonderland. And because I'm so amazing, I'll do the disclaimer too. AHEM.

WHY _YES_, WE _DO_ OWN THEM. WE OWN THEM ALL, AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. -brandishes a flaming pitchfork- BRING ON THE LAWYERS!

**ShaCha:** Oh God, not again.

**Lerena: **I'm part of the sequel! Fear me!

**Hikari: **HAI. I was finally asked to join this insanity, and as the resident Mello lover it's not like they would have had a choice. XD Hopefully this won't be too crazy with the three billion other things I'm doing - not to mention all the long and overdue fics I have to write - so on to it!

**As with _Utter Nonsense_, this story takes place during the Yotsuba arc. What this means is that L is _alive_, Matt Mello and Near are still at Wammy's and all sorts of random nonsense is going to fly around like flying B-monkeys on crack.  
**

Enjoy!

* * *

"What. The hell. Are you doing?"

"Mel! This Boss - he mocks me - _mocks I tell you_!"

"So--"

"I've hit him with everything I have! _Everything_! I've poured my life and _soul_ into this game, and he keeps. Getting. Up!"

"…"

"He's possessed!"

"And you're not?"

"_You're not helping_!"

"I'm not qualified enough to help you."

"_Mello_!"

"And back to my earlier question - What the _hell_ are you _doing_?"

"_Pouring my_--"

"Co_-rrection_! Pouring _my_ chocolate down _your_ throat!" Forced patience gone, Mello stood in the doorway of his and Matt's shared room at Wammy's, glaring down at his friend who sat in front of the television with a game controller in his hand. His goggles were pushed up, his hair was slightly askew, and he looked somewhat possessed himself. All of this was old news to Mello, who by now was used to Matt's quirks and video game obsession. But when Possessed-Goggle-Wearing-Messy-Hair-Matt sat there with his face smeared with _Mello's_ chocolate, surrounded by empty wrappers of _Mello's chocolate_, chewing on the end piece of _Mello's goddamned chocolate_, the blond had to put his foot down.

"It's all for the cause, Mel."

"Screw the cause, spit the chocolate out! Get your own!"

"But you always steal mine…"

"Because I'm the only one _allowed_ to eat chocolate in this orphanage, bud!"

"Oh come on, I let you play my video games!"

"Video games are inferior to chocolate, idiot!"

The world froze. Mello immediately paled, realizing what _exactly_ he'd just said as Matt's face took on a thunderous look.

"Matt…look, man, I didn't mean it, okay? I just--"

"_What did you say_?"

"I was just pissed, okay, no need--"

"Did you just say video games were _inferior_ to something?"

"Ma—"

"_Video games are superior to _**everything**!" shrieked Matt (his voice reaching pitches Mello surely would be teasing him about if he wasn't fearing for his chocolate loving life right then) and hurled the controller he was holding right at Mello's head.

It hit its target hard.

And suddenly, the world was _spinning_.

Mello woke up in their shared room a few hours later.

"Hey Mello! You're awake!"

"Would you shut up?" Mello snapped back, sitting up and rubbing his head. "What happened?"

"I hit you with my controller and then you passed out. Took you a long time to wake up."

"... Dammit. Did I miss L? We were supposed to have the interview!"

"Dunno. Go ask Roger?"

"Fine then, I will." He slid off the bed. "And take off those dumb ears, they make you look like a dog."

"What ears?" Matt asked, following him.

"Those ears!"

"... I'm not wearing any ears dude."

"... Whatever. Forget it."

They walked in silence for a few minutes before Mello frowned. "That's strange. Where is everyone?"

"Yeah, that's really weird. Wonder where they are?"

"Let's check outside. Maybe there's an outdoor assembly or somethin'," Mello said absently, leading Matt outside and onto the lawn. It took him a few seconds to adjust to the sudden glare of the sun, but when he had, he stared. "Matt, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."

"What makes you say that?" Matt asked, staring behind them at the Wammy's building. "And we've never been to Kansas dude." Matt turned to follow his gaze. "... Are those shoes?"

"No Matt, they're the blessed goldmines of Peru." He paused to let the sarcasm sink in. "Of _course _they're shoes, dumbass!"

"Sheesh, no need to ye- what the hell?"

"What the hell _wha_-" Mello cut himself off when he saw what Matt was staring at. "… you have got to be kidding me."

"_Dude_! They're so cool!!" said Matt, grinning as he squatted to look at the little people. They came out in twos and threes, twirling around in their little clothes and shoes, and suddenly, Matt found himself extremely amused. "Dude, they crack me up. They're like, er…" Matt searched for a perfect analogy. "Like, er. Diddy Kong?"

"Diddy Kong's a freakin' monkey, you idiot," said Mello absently, as he, too, knelt to examine them.

"Correction, baby gorilla."

"… Matt, shut up."

"Yessir Mello!" mocked Matt lightly, before reaching out to poke the closest Munchkin. "… ehehehehe."

"… I'm surrounded by idi- oh my freaking _God _it's Near. Near. Neary Near. Like, the sheepiest sheep alive."

"… I resent that," said a miniature Near in a slightly high-pitched voice. Very much like himself, he reached up a twirled a strand of his hair.

"It's not my fault you're short and sheepy!" retorted Mello, reaching out to poke him. "… really short and sheepy."

"Am I supposed to comment on your height and the fact that you resemble a llama?"

"A _llam _– oh I'm going to _kill _– "

"Uh, Mel." Matt tugged his sleeve and pointed.

Mello cut himself off and turned, a look of horror sliding onto his face. "What. The hell. Is that."

"_DING-DONG! THE WITCH-_"

"That song is _copyrighted_! And it is illegal to sing such a thing when it is not yours! And as Mayor, I uphold the law! Therefore, I _must_ _delete you_!"

"…"

"…"

"_Delete_! _Delete_!"

"Yep, certainly not in Kansas anymore."

"That's the least of our troubles, Mel."

"Troubles? Bah, this isn't trouble. Something tells me that this is just the beginning…"

"… you've never spoken truer words." Matt pointed. "… I don't even want to know."

"Wh-" Mello turned and stopped, pausing. "… Who the hell is that?"

"_Dammit_, I'M _late_! What the _hell_!" Unbeknownst to the heirs, Light Yagami did not make for a very happy Good Fairy. "Munchkins come _after _I enter! Mikami! _We went over this!_"

"Del- _God_?"

"…"

"…"

Both boys inched away.

"_You_!" Light brandished a huge pen, which looked like it was substituting a wand. She or he or whatever it was swung the pen towards them. Mello and Matt yelped and jumped back to avoid being hit. The pen pointed at Mello. "_What manner of witch_ _are_ _you_, _girl_!"

"… I'm _not_ a girl!" snarled Mello, leaping up. "And I'm not a freakin' _witch_, either!"

Light eyed him, disgruntled. "Oh you're not, aren't you… Then why – " He pointed the pen at him. "Are you wearing a _dress_!"

"I'm not wearing a – " Mello, God bless his chocolate-loving soul, _shrieked_ upon glancing down, seeing his precious black jeans and cotton shirt replaced with a red ball gown.

"Damn, that just does not work – _this_ dress!"

Mello shrieked again as before his eyes the red turned into a blue-jean and overall-like dress with a white shirt. He clawed at it and, to his horror, found that he was groping himself.

"Dude! Mel! You've got boobs!" Matt groped them eagerly. "Hey, man! They're pretty big!"

"… Matt, you've got about three seconds to get your hands off me."

"Or what?" Matt eyed the blond_e_ - and the extra 'e' was all important now, oh yes it was, for it signified the wonderful change that had occured for Mello - with some challenge.

"Boobs or not, dumbass," was the hissed reply, Mello's eyes doing that slitty narrow thing that quite succinctly spelled out _oh hell are you in for a world of hurt_, "I can still kick you somewhere precious and make your _grandchildren_ feel it."

Matt hastily retracted his hands.

Mello was vindicated. "Much better," and kicked him rather viciously anyway.

Munchkin Near looks as unimpressed as always. "That was uncalled for."

"Probably," Mello didn't much care, leaving Matt to writhe around on the ground in agony as he turned to the one he'd been arguing with earlier. "Oi, sparkly guy."

The sparkly guy ignored him - probably can't see him for all the friggin' glitter in his outfit. The guy put _way_ too much thought into his appearance and - "I said _oi_!" Mello didn't like being ignored.

Light, still in his good witch outfit, looked around rather sourly, vexed at being torn away from the gratuitous ego-stroking Munchkin Mayor Mikami had been supplying him with. "_What_, Blondie?"

"Where the hell _are_ we?"

"You're in Oz," Light-Witch said, blinking a few times as the sparkles began making him see dots. "Anyone could see that, unless you're a witch school drop out who couldn't pass geography to save your life."

"I'm a _genius_!"

"Uh huh."

"He's also a murderer! _I_ _must_ _delete him_!"

"Down, Mikami," said Light. "It's only murder if it's someone people actually care about. You, Dorothy-"

"What the hell, it's Mello!"

"You look like a Dorothy. You have just killed Kiyomi Takada, the Wicked Witch of the East. All that's left of her are those shoes." He waved his pen at Takada's red high heels, which matched Light's dress in color, and would've been quite shiny if not for the near blinding glitter of Light's sparkles.

"What was she doing under Wammy's?" asked Matt.

"She wasn't, you crash-landed here in that, Wammys as you call it, and squashed her like the queen ant she pretended to be while she was eating babies and broadcasting horrible news reports."

Ignoring Matt and Mello's _What the hell have you been smoking?_ looks, Light raised his pen to the sky, and said imperiously, "Let the joyous news be spread, the Wicked old Bit--"

"_God_! This is a _children's_ story!"

"Takada's dead, go nuts," Light finished, and the Munchkins promptly started cheering, dancing, and breaking out the alcoh---

"_Children's story_! _Delete delete delete!_"

* * *

Aaaaaaand Angela's boyfriend and Hikari have saved the day and fixed all the super funky formatting, so thank them. x3


	2. Take Two: Off to see the Wizard!

**Angela: **Chapter two, chapter two~ -chews on ShaCha-

**ComputerFreak101:** -locked up in jail because of the earlier disclaimer- Okay, so, _apparently_, we don't own these guys. And apparently, brandishing flaming, pointy objects at people's faces and feeding the burnt eyeballs to our monkeys is a federal offense. So here's the lesson of the chapter, kids - shoot and run. Don't waste time with the little things, no matter how much the monkeys howl at you. (Now send over Pre!Scarred Mello to bust me out of here!)

**ShaCha:** -smacks the cannibal Kelpy and goes back to decorating Oz with dead people-

**Lerena:** I'm back for yet another chapter. Who else thinks Mello should wear a dress? O:

**Hikari: **-is too busy doing things to Mello for him to save Compy, (AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH POST-SCAR?!) so sends over Matt instead-

* * *

Mello scowled up at the cotton-candy clouds in the bright blue sky overhead, trying to tune out the cheery warblings of the many mini-mini Munchkins skipping about the place and the sheer fluffy-wuffy atmosphere that was personally making him sick. Excluding the numerous Munchkin corpses littering the place of course, Mikami having gone on a happy slaughter-spree to eradicate anything less than sparkly for his beloved god.

_'Though how a mound of child-size bodies lying about the place is 'child friendly' is really quite beyond me…_' Mello huffed to himself, arms folded over his (now ample) chest, quite petulant the party everyone was throwing didn't have chocolate. A movement at the corner of his eye caught his attention. "… Maa-_attt_!" His whine was directed at the dog-eared redhead skulking around the rather miserable looking Wammy's building, and the red-shoed legs sticking out from under it. "Stop poking the corpse!"

Matt looked up, a little guilty. "I thought I saw one of my games under her -"

Mello refrained from insulting his friend's games again, for fear of another low-flying console coming swiftly (and rather painfully) his way once more. "I don't care! Away from the dead bird!"

Matt slunk away rather sulkily, though not before Light had magically (and by magically Mello meant poofing out of nowhere with extra sparkly sparkles and bubbles and flower blossoms so thick in the air one poor little Munchkin got it caught in his throat, asphyxiated, and died. Mello mourned it hadn't been Near who'd met such a demise) reappeared at their side, resuming Matt's abandoned task of bothering the dead witch.

"Is defiling the dead a hobby around here or something?" Mello's question was caustic.

"But of course." Near – damn him – had reappeared when all the killer sparkles were gone, voice its usual unconcerned monotone where it was impossible to tell if the boy were lying or not. "We're all closet necrophiliacs."

"…"

"…"

Slowly, Mello and Matt edged away from the boy, the latter opting for an inquiry: "Sometimes you're a scary, _scary_ person Near – you know that?"

The white-haired boy didn't bother with a proper reply, as such. "Why, thank you," and, curling his hair with one finger, shuffled off in pyjamas that were still too big.

"God?" Mikami, sparkle-less but sickeningly adoring of his somewhat deranged deity, sidled over to Light beside Wammy's. "God, is something troubling you?"

Light waved his pen at the dead Takada. "I used to date her."

"_God_!" Mikami deserved to be the one in a dress (in Mello's oh-so_ humble_ opinion) for the sheer pitch of his shriek, red eyes wounded with betrayal. "God, how _could_ you?!"

"I always thought there was something going on there…" Near had shuffled back.

Mello tried booting him – sadly, the albino Munchkin dodged. "Sod off, sheep." The blonde turned back to the still-sulking Matt. "I thought Sparkly Guy -"

"His name's Light," Near oh-so-helpfully interrupted to point out.

Mello tried another kick – he still missed. "Sod _off_, sheep!" He turned back to Matt. "When did Sparkly Guy get promoted, anyway? He was a witch last time I loo -"

"Mello," The blonde was going to _throttle_ Near if the little twit didn't stop floating about and interrupting him while he was talking, "You realize we can all see your knickers when you kick like that in a dress?"

"_You little_-!"

A rumbling crash split the air, a bright flash and smoke everywhere – what _was_ it with people and trying to choke the audience? – everyone shielding their eyes to avoid going blind, and covering their mouths so they could still breathe. And then, blindness and breathing difficulties aside, there was possibly the most annoying thing of all –

"Did Misa-Misa do it right? Did she? _Did she?_ Misa will have to go back and do it again if she didn't and Misa-Misa doesn't _really_ want to do that because she has an appointment with her hairdresser at two and Misa's _always_ late and the hairdresser tells Misa off and it's _dreadful_." There was a pause, the smoke clearing a little so everyone gathered about could see the pretty, lipstick-lipped and scantily-clad Gothic Lolita stood in the midst of them all, having come from nowhere, blonde hair tied up in little bunches with an artistically crooked witch's hat perched just _so_ atop the shampooed tresses. "Really, Misa-Misa thinks people should have more respect for the famous." Another pause, blue eyes flicking around the stunned crowd before alighting on her poor victim. "_Light_!"

Said victim visibly twitched as the harpy descended upon him, automatically trying to pry the girl doing a rather remarkable impression of a limpet off of him. "Misa."

"Light," 'Misa' snuggled into his chest, oblivious to the other witch's attempts to remove her, "Misa-Misa missed you _so_ much."

"Obviously," no-one present could miss the sparkly guy's sarcasm, "but of course, you must be heartbroken to learn of Takada's death -"

"Death?" Misa actually took a step back at that, blue eyes widening. "Takada's dead?"

The Queen of Sparkles looked like he wanted to facepalm. "_Ye_s, Takada's dead. Those two," a wave of the pen towards Matt and Mello (who's chest felt oddly tight at the sight of the motion), "literally dropped in and crushed her."

"Oh. Oh my God!" Misa's eyes welled up with tears and she let out a wail that made canine-Matt nearly howl. The witch buried her head into Light's shoulder, her tears shining brightly in the light of the sparkles. "Oh, oh Light, _Light_! Takada was so... So, well, she wasn't as pretty as Misa, or as important, but she was a good background piece! Oh," she hiccupped and clung to Light (the action looked more than a little like molesting) harder. "Oh this is just-"

"Yes, yes, Misa we get it. But you must get over it." And here Light sounded both demanding and slightly begging, "_Stop crying_, because she's not coming back and all that's left of her are her shoes."

"_Really_?" With another ear-piercing squeal, Misa's eyes, now empty of her crocodile tears, locked on Takada's red heels, sticking out from under the building. "Ooooh, look at them! They're completely unharmed, oh _Light_! It's a sign! A sign from above!"

"A sign," came the monotone echo.

"Oh yes, yes of course! Light!" Misa grabbed Light by the shoulders and looked him square in the eye. "Light, I simply _must_ wear them on our wedding day!"

"_What_!" screeched Mikami. Light just looked horrified.

"Who says I'd marry – "

"Takada wanted to marry you! The skank told me she only bought those shoes to match your dress when she dragged you down the aisle!"

"She _what_?"

"Oh, but now that no one is wearing the shoes, Misa-Misa can take them and wear them and Misa-Misa can marry Light _without_ worrying about the proper way to dispose of that whore's remains!" She looked around and said in what, to Misa's ears, must have been a whisper but heard by everyone present. "But don't tell anyone, because Misa-Misa is a good witch."

"No, you're the Wicked Witch of the - "

"Silence Sheep, or I'll bake you into the wedding cake!"

"He is _not_ getting married!" yelled Mikami, looking more than slightly deranged.

"Yes he is, the shoes - "

"Are being used at this very minute, therefore your claims of using them as a makeshift marriage certificate are null and void," said Light quickly. There was a beat of silence as everyone looked at Light oddly.

"But Light, Misa-Misa told you, since Takada's dead, she-"

"Takada's not wearing them."

"Yes she is."

"No she isn't."

"Yes she _is_!" Misa stamped her foot. "She is, she is, she _is_, see-" She pointed to Takada's body and froze, for there was nothing left on Takada's feet save her overly-expensive socks. "But, but Misa _saw_– "

"Apparently Dorothy was quicker than you were."

"I am _not_ Doro-"

"Dude, Mel, you pull off heels _well_."

"Wha-" Mello looked down and flushed with anger as he saw, to top off his dress and breasts, Takada's red high-heels, seeming to shine brighter now that they were being worn by the living, on his feet.

Takada's _too small_ heels.

"You do look almost suspiciously good in them," remarked Near as Mello wobbled, Misa screamed, and Mikami burst into relieved sobs.

"Shut up," snapped Mello angrily.

"Give me those shoes!" Misa ordered.

"You can have these stupid shoes." Mello replied. He bent down and tried to remove the shoes. They wouldn't come off. "Give me a minute."

Near snickered. "It appears they like you. Those shoes do compliment your breasts well."

"I don't want to hear another word out of you," Mello threatened.

"Well? I'm waiting," said Misa pretending to look at a watch. "Don't make me late."

"It's not my fault I can't remove them!"

"Something tells me Mello likes them," commented Near just to annoy him.

"Do you have a death wish?" Mello asked.

"You couldn't do anything to me," Near replied.

"Want a bet?!" But before Mello could lunge, Matt grabbed him and held him back.

"No, it's not worth it! YOU ARE NOT A GUN! YOU ARE WHO YOU CHOSE TO BE!"

"…"

"The obscure movie reference is copyrighted! DELETE! DEL – "

"Oh for the love of KIRA!" Light brandished his giant pen and smacked Mikami, effectively knocking him out. "And as for YOU, girl!" He brandished the pen at Mello, who yelped and jumped back.

"I _told _you, I. AM. NOT. A. FREAKIN'. GIRL!"

"Look sister, you've got the parts, stop complaining. ANYWAY! I am _sick _of all this moping, complaining and whatnot – _I have had enough!_ Misa!"

"Yes Light? What can Misa-Misa do for you? Should she knock out the ugly girl – "

"HEY!"

" – and take Takada's shoes to be your wife?" She beamed, sparkles and hearts filling the air as she looked at Light.

Near glanced around. "There seems to be an abundance of sparkles today…"

"Shut _up_, sheep!"

Light looked slightly alarmed, backing away. "Uh – no, Misa."

"But Misa _wants _to!" whined the blonde, stamping her – sadly, for both Mello and her, not red-heel clad – foot. "Misa-Misa wants to go after her – "

"I'M A _BOY_!"

" – because she has what should be _Misa's_!"

"Has anyone ever told you that you act like you're five?" asked Near, twirling a strand of his hair and dancing out of Mello's angry reach.

"Ex_cuse _me?! Misa-Misa is not _five_! And she most certainly does _not _act like she is!" She stomped her foot again. "And if you _ever _accuse her of such things, ooh, why she'll – "

Mello glanced around at the gathering storm clouds, wondering if any imminent lightning could kill Near but miss him. Knowing his luck – breasted, dressed, heeled-blessed _luck _– it would smack him off the rebound, just when he thought he'd escaped. "Look, before Legally Blonde over there blows a gasket and kills us all, what the hell can I do to change back to _me _again?"

"You can see…" Sparkly Guy paused dramatically. "THE MIGHTY LETTER L!!"

"He's actually called the Wizard of Oz," said Near unhelpfully. "And he's in the Emerald City."

"… you know, I can see why you hate him, he's a pain in the – "

"LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!" wailed Misa, clinging to the supposed Good Witch again. "SHE INTERRUPTED MISA-MISA IN THE MIDDLE OF HER ANGRY RAMPAGE!"

"I AM NOT A – "

Exasperated, Light cut him off. "Forget it! You, Dorothy-Mello-whoever-you-are! In order to return to the way you were and get back home – "

"Where I can find my video games?" said Matt hopefully.

"Where your little dog can play his – DOGS DON'T PLAY VIDEO GAMES!" Another brandish of the pen. Matt yelped and ducked to avoid Mikami's fate, mumbling something about not being a dog. "AS I WAS SAYING! You must go to the Emerald City and speak to the mighty Letter L – "

"Wizard of Oz."

"SILENCE!!!!!! And he will be able to help you!"

"But how can I _get _to the Emerald City?!" asked Mello, exasperated. The heels were really too tight.

"BY FOLLOWING THE YELLOW NOTE ROAD!"

"… The _what_?"

The Munchkins that hadn't been killed by Mikami's murderous rampage started to sing and lead Mello and Matt to a road that was paved by yellow notebooks. Some had unintelligible writing, others said _Death Note _in English. "Er – "

"FOLLOW THE YELLOW NOTE ROAD! FOLLOW THE YELLOW NOTE ROAD! FOLLOW THE FOLLOW THE FOLLOW THE FOLLOW THE FOLLOW THE YELLOW NOTE ROAD!"

"… C'mon Matt let's get out of here."

"Way ahead of you sister." Matt dashed off.

Mello ran after him, shouting, "I'M NOT A _GIRL_!"

"That's what you think…" said Light creepily, before the lights went out.


End file.
